


Stay, Please VII: I Know It's Not Perfect

by Tifer14



Series: Stay, Please [7]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: AO3 1 Million, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2014-02-16
Packaged: 2018-01-12 16:25:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,708
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1191927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tifer14/pseuds/Tifer14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aaron Hotchner has to make a decision between everything he had and everything he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Withdrawal

**Author's Note:**

> I still don't own Criminal Minds. One day, one day...

“Oh baby, are you okay?” Garcia had enveloped Spencer to her voluminous breast and he had a horrible feeling that he might suffocate to death if she didn’t release him soon. Sensing, his discomfort she relinquished her grasp and allowed him to claim a cookie from the box she had made for him. “You know I love our fearless leader but you are my junior G-man and I am happy to ruin his credit score and make sure he receives thousands of emails a day advertising penis enlargement if that is your wish.”

                “Thanks for the offer but I’ll pass,” Spencer sighed and crumbled his cookie onto the plate. He hadn’t had much of an appetite these past few weeks. He missed Aaron. “It’s not his fault. I’m the one who asked for the break. He’s just following my wishes.”

                “Well, that’s no good if it’s not what you actually want, honey.”

                “I don’t know what I want. We were happy, you know. Everything was going really well and then Hayley comes into the picture and—“ Spencer waved his hands around to somehow convey the shambles that was his first and only serious relationship.

                “We should have a night out. Loosen you up a bit,” Garcia suggested but Spencer paled and shook his head.

                “I went out with Emily and Morgan the Friday before... you know. It was fun but Saturday morning was just icky.”

                “Aw, I can’t believe I missed you going out. Stupid volunteering,” Penelope smiled and tried to lighten the mood but Spencer just sighed. “You know, this doesn’t mean forever. You can always change your mind.”

                “What’s the point? We’re never going to be able to move in together or be a normal couple. Either it’s Hayley or the Bureau or something else. We should both move on for our own good.”

                “Oh, baby, you don’t really believe that. You and Hotch are the real deal. Everyone can see that. I know circumstances aren’t the best but you’ve got to fight for the important things in life.” Spencer made a non-committal noise and rose to return to his desk.

                “Thanks for the cookies,” he attempted a smile but it faltered into a grimace. It had been nineteen days. The withdrawal was worse than what he’d gone through with diladid. All he wanted was to collapse into Aaron’s arms and stay there forever.

                He dragged his feet through the bullpen and resisted the urge to look up at Hotch’s office. More than once he’d met the older man’s eyes and it hurt. Morgan and Prentiss felt the black cloud approaching even before Reid came into view and Emily huffed her disapproval. This was so stupid. Hotch and Reid were both miserable but they were giving each other space. Well, it wasn’t working and it was putting strain on the whole team. Someone had to do something. It should probably be Morgan, she decided. If anyone had experience with not over-thinking relationships it was Derek Morgan. She scooted her chair over quickly and whispered in Morgan’s ear as Reid came round the corner: “You should talk to him. Get him and Hotch back together.” Before Morgan had a chance to reply she was back at her desk focused on her files. He gave the back of her head an exasperated look. There was no way he was getting in the middle of that mess. He’d learned to stay out of other people’s relationship after that whole Garcia and the guy she met at the coffee shop fiasco. Though he’d been right about that guy, not that he’d expected him to shoot her but still... yeah, he’d stay out of this.

                Reid threw himself into his chair and spun slowly from side to side. He was all caught up on his paperwork and he was bored. Mid-spin he accidentally looked up into Aaron’s office. The older man was on the phone and rubbing a hand over his eyes. He only did that when he was really exhausted or when he was talking to Hayley. Well, it wasn’t any of Spencer’s business anymore. They’d made their decision and that was that.

                “Sure, Hayley,” Hotch mumbled into the receiver. “I can meet this afternoon at four. No, I won’t be late. I promise. Yes, I realise I’ve broken promises in the past. Can we please not do this now? Four o’clock. See you then.” Hotch hung up and his eyes trailed down into the bullpen. Spencer was swinging back and forth on his chair, clearly bored. There was a time when he would have come up into Hotch’s office asking for further assignments or organising his immaculate shelves but now he ignored the his boss whenever possible. Nineteen days. It felt like a lifetime but he’d promised Reid space. Even if it killed him, he’d do whatever Spencer wanted. It hadn’t been like that with Hayley, maybe that was why his marriage had failed. Well, this relationship had failed anyway so what did that say?

Four o’clock. Again, Hayley was waiting. He wasn’t late this time but the déjà-vu was unnerving and did not bode well for the success of this interview. It was like walking into a lion’s den, or interviewing a serial killer in the midst of a psychotic break. Simply, no good would come out of it and he might lose a limb.

Hayley smiled as he slid into his chair and he felt his stomach tighten in anticipation of the knife that was about to slice him open. “I guess it’s time we talked, Aaron.” He just nodded in agreement. What was there to say? He’d lost Spencer. She had nothing to complain about anymore. He wasn’t in a deviant relationship or however her prim upper-middle class sentimentality wanted to label the love that he’d shared with Spencer.

“Jess suggested that I might have over-reacted.” Hotch remained silent. He knew better than to react to that. He’d learned when there was no correct answer. Hayley coughed slightly and continued, “I have also spoken with Jack. He seems to quite like Dr. Reid. Apparently he has seen quite a lot of Dr. Reid whenever you had him for the weekend.” Hayley gave Aaron a disapproving look which he couldn’t help but respond to.

“If nothing else, Spencer was good for his education. He is a genius.”

“So I’ve heard,” Hayley drawled and waved her hand dismissively. “Anyway, Jess said that you would be willing to not move in with Dr. Reid and I am willing to allow you to continue seeing Jack according to the previous arrangement. However, Dr. Reid will not spend the night when Jack is...”

“Hayley, this really isn’t relevant anymore. Spencer didn’t want to come between Jack and me so he has broken it off.” Hotch hated the way his voice cracked. The last thing he needed was to show his ex-wife any weakness. It was like turning your back to a piqueristic killer; he was liable to get stabbed in the back.

“Oh, Aaron. I—I’m sorry...” Hayley began but Hotch cut her off with a raised hand.

“Please, don’t patronise me Hayley.”

“You’re right. But maybe this is the best thing that could have happened.” Hotch raised an eyebrow in disbelief. Was she really going to go all Jesus-freak and talk about saving his soul? Then Hayley did something that took him entirely by surprise. She reached across the table and grasped his hand firmly. “Look, Aaron, I know we’ve been through a horrible mess but I’ve missed you.” Hotch made a strangled noise in his throat but seemed to be otherwise paralysed. “We both know that we didn’t split up because we stopped loving each other. We both made mistakes. I had my indiscretions and you weren’t always committed to our relationship but maybe we could try again. Jack misses you terribly.”

“I miss him too,” Hotch conceded and unconsciously rubbed his thumb along the back of Hayley’s hand, “but nothing has changed Hayley. I still am my job.”

“We could get through that,” Hayley pressed, “I miss you and I still love you. Please, Aaron, let’s give this another try. You could move back in. We could be a family again.”

“We just finalised the divorce a few months ago.”

Hayley laughed lightly, “That doesn’t matter! We can get married again. Jack will love it.”

Hotch just stared at her open mouthed. There was a time he would have given anything to get her back. Now, he just felt like he was in an episode of Twilight Zone. Hayley held his hand and he struggled to remember how to breathe.


	2. Release

He wasn’t entirely sure how he’d ended up at Spencer’s apartment but he was outside the door and banging heavily on the wooden frame. Remembering he still has a key, Aaron fished it from his pocket and was through the door as soon as he’d got it open. Spencer was just rounding the corner of the living room when he stopped in surprise. Aaron took advantage of the momentary disorientation and had Spencer pushed up against the wall, hands twisted into those soft curls, lips desperately pushing against his ex-lover’s until, with a moan, Spencer melted into him and pulled him closer.  Not caring that the door was open and that Mrs. Harper was undoubtedly staring through her peephole to see who was visiting that nice young man across the hall, Aaron ground Spencer into the wall like they had been separated for years. Even though he’d seen Reid nearly every day at work since their ‘break’ he hadn’t been able to touch him, not like this. He wasn’t even sure that he was allowed to touch him now. The decision had been made. He just had to find a way to break the news to Spencer and make him see sense. Spencer had pushed him away but he was tired of giving the young man space, time to think, room to breathe. He needed him. He needed to feel him, to taste him, mark him, let the world know that Spencer Reid belonged to him and no one would ever come between them. Not even Hayley.

                Spencer pushed him away, breathing heavily. “I thought we agreed to space.”

                “I rescind my agreement. I will not give you space. No space at all,” Aaron smirked and closed his lips over Spencer’s again. He picked his lover up and Spencer had no choice but to wrap his legs around Hotch’s strong hips. The older man kicked the door closed and carried Spencer into the living room before lowering him onto the sofa and nestling between his legs. He could feel Spencer’s erection pressing into his stomach and was pleased with the lack of resistance. He’d been worried he would need to explain himself and words weren’t really the first thing on his mind right now.  He needed skin. He needed long, naked limbs bared to the soft light of Spencer’s imitation Tiffany table lamp.

Spencer’s T-shirt was flung to the floor and he sucked a deep mark into the pale skin near his collarbone. Mine, he growled to himself. No one would come between them. Not even Hayley. Not even Spencer. He’d show him how much they needed each other.

“Aaron, we should talk,” Spencer mumbled but it faded into a deep moan as Hotch ground their erections together through far too many layers of clothing. Quickly, he unbuttoned his own pale blue shirt and let it flutter to the floor. He embraced his lover and revelled in the feeling of skin on skin. God, he’d missed this. He’d missed Spencer. The soft smell of coconut drifted over to him and he groaned in ecstasy. This was heaven; this young man in his arms was completion. He slid the thin pyjama trousers off Spencer’s hips and growled his approval at the lack of underwear. Kneeling up, he frantically removed his belt, guns, slacks, boxers, socks, too many items, too much clothing. Finally, they were both naked and he could take what belonged to him.

The short delay allowed Spencer a moment of clarity. “Aaron,” he stated firmly and pressed one hand to his boss’ chest. Fighting the urge to stroke down those firm sides and strong planes of muscle; he was determined to be sensible about this. “We need—“

“Lube. We need lube,” Aaron finished for him with another smirk and reached into the coffee table, knowing Spencer kept some stashed there just in case. Quickly, he slicked up his fingers and spread Spencer’s legs. Reid undoubtedly had a brilliant mind but sometimes he just needed to stop thinking so damn much. There was a brief moment of resistance but Hotch overcame it with gentle kisses behind his lover’s ear before pressing two fingers firmly into Spencer’s tight hole. He swallowed the small yelp of pain and gently scissored until he was licking up moans of pleasure. God, yes, Spencer needed him. He was sure of it.  

Slicking up his aching cock, it had been far too long, he hitched Spencer’s legs onto his shoulders and pushed forward in one firm, almost violent motion. “Fuck, yes,” he groaned as Spencer’s eyes rolled back into his head. It was almost too much. Too tight. Too hot. Too good. “Yes, Spencer, fuck yes.” He set a brutal pace, frantically thrusting until he heard Spencer’s startled scream. That was it. That was the spot. Angling himself with a grin, he continued the brutal pounding before taking his lover in hand and roughly jerking him off in counterpoint. “Come on, baby, come. Fuck, you feel so good.” Spencer’s whole body was shaking as he rolled with every motion Hotch made until he ejaculated with a strangled shout.

Hotch let the long legs fall to the sofa and, gripping Spencer’s hips, he fought for his own completion. Spencer was still moaning below him and the soft sounds were almost too much. With a harsh grunt he felt himself filling his young lover and he fell heavily onto the thin, heaving chest. Minutes past with just the sound of heavy breathing filling the air before Spencer’s brain came back online.

“Can we talk now?” he asked and Hotch could hear the smile in his voice. Slipping out with a groan, he propped himself up on one elbow and smiled down at the satiated young man.

“Sure.”

“Want to tell me what this was all about?”

“I met with Hayley this afternoon.” He felt Spencer stiffen slightly below him but foolishly continued. “She wants to get back together.” That was it. Spencer’s body snapped like a bowstring. Hands pushed hard at Hotch’s shoulders and he nearly fell to the floor.

“So what was this?” Spencer screamed, still trying to extract himself from Hotch’s domineering weight. “A quick goodbye fuck before you go back to your All-American, upper middle class, heterosexual family? Get off me, Hotch! Get the fuck out my house!”

In shock, Aaron nearly obeyed him before he came to his senses. He grabbed Reid’s hands and pinned them above his head, using his hips to still the bucking beneath him. “I told her no, Spencer.  I told her it wouldn’t work. I told her I loved you.”

Spencer froze. The stillness was quite unnerving and Hotch wasn’t sure if he should say something else. Finally, Spencer whispered, “You told her...no?” He repeated Hotch’s words slowly. “You told her... you loved me?”

“Yes. I chose you.”

“What about Jack?” A pained expression crossed Spencer’s face.

“We’ll work it out. There will have to be concessions. She’s mad right now but she did say that she would continue to allow me to see Jack as long as we didn’t move in together and you didn’t sleep over.” Hotch’s words were spilling from his lips, “I know it’s not perfect but please, stay with me. We’re good together. Better than it ever was with Hayley. You understand me. You understand the job. You don’t expect me to be something I’m not.” Spencer nodded slowly but the words seemed to still be sinking in. “Plus the sex is amazing,” Hotch finished with a smirk. Finally Spencer laughed and wrapped his arms around Hotch’s chest.

“That is true.”


End file.
